so I googled skeletons and

blackandwhitebilliards:

image

"no my love, you cannot go off to war"

"but I must darling, i must fight. to defend our land"

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"against the fuckboys

(via chrlsty)

"His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave. ‘Are you ready for this?’ he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three-legged young."

50 Shades of Grey

Next time you feel bad about your work, remember this shit got published

(via assguardingloki)

(Source: kaley, via chrlsty)

ruinedchildhood:

*hits blunt*

bruh…

(via freak-aleek)

doodlesanddiscord:

thommquackenbush:

jennlyons:

jadelyn:

Are you fucking kidding me? Like, no, Shakespeare wouldn’t tweet a sonnet cause 140 characters is a bit short for that. Wrong medium. But you know what he would have? A very active twitter FULL OF DICK PUNS AND YOUR MOM JOKES okay. (And probably also a blog for the sonnets and longer works, that cross-posts links to twitter anyway.)

Get out of here with that pretentious anti-technology bullshit.

He’d rock the fuck out of memes. Don’t deny it.

Exit, pursued by a doge.

much run wow 

I don’t understand people who try to make Shakespeare into a pretentious thing cause he was basically an uneducated dick-joke making dude for the common masses. His historical plays are straight up fanfiction. There’s a scene in Macbeth where two guards are having a conversation as a dude pees on a wall. Get out of here with your Shakespeare snobbery.

(via ismokeoregano)

queen-of-fallen-angels:

jaxs-the-fallen-angel:

howling-rising-demon:

princess-dickhead:

delzdesigns:

Imagine having 2 dads, and then them divorcing and dating other men. Then you’d have 4 dads.

The amount of dad jokes…

"I’m hungry"
"Hi hungry, I’m dad."
"Hi dad, I’m dad too!"
"Hi dad too, I’m dad three."
"Hi dad three, I’m dad."

What have you done

image

(via ismokeoregano)

radicalfarts:

eraserheadsbaby:

the ol’ razzle dazzle

IM SCREAMING

(Source: hohokev, via ismokeoregano)

crystalfy:

It bothers me that the intelligence of animals is measured by how willing they are to obey the commands of a human.

same goes for students at schools

I just realized how fucked up that is wow. 

(Source: leisurelee, via chrlsty)

mrmeriwether:

yeahbanero-bells:

wolvensnothere:

Whoa.

I read this out loud to boyfriend and he just went “ohhhhhhhhh” 

CEOs all runnin around terrified of blue shells from the homeless

(Source: thetangential, via davidisbeyonce)

toastoat:

PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME

(Source: ghostoat, via ismokeoregano)

(via ismokeoregano)

zannab-sq:

daddymikeyway:

MY FRIEND WINS

YES

(via ismokeoregano)

tastefullyoffensive:

[flaspeed]

tupacabra:

stealin ur man w/ these smooth moves

(Source: wrestling-giffer, via ismokeoregano)

maybenotboring:

and at no point has anyone thought “maybe we should not build a giant flammable goat this year”

(via pleatedjeans)

pornosophical:

jzanity1010:

dbvictoria:

More Disney Parks facts here

TREASURED GUEST

But how could you leave out this

image

(via chrlsty)